Headlights Shine 10 Feet Ahead of You

or some ways to get through the dark

Nov 15, 2024

Last week I told y’all that my daughter likes to play coronation day, I crown her Queen Elsa of Arrendale on repeat. This week, for a little bit, I felt more like Anna when she got stuck in a cave in Frozen 2.

Where Dreams Come True — The Next Right Thing Queen Anna, Frozen II — Despairing in the dark, clutching that leather satchel…

We are on the other side of coronation day (AKA Election day) and the results are in. For those of you unfamiliar with Frozen 2, this is a scene where Anna is lost, Olaf has just left in a “flurrying away” of his magic, and she believes Elsa to be dead. She is stuck in a dark cave with nobody left to help her.

The lyrics to the song The Next Right Thing are brutal (shall we discuss the surprising depth and emotional turmoil of Disney lyrics in another newsletter? Because wow.):

The life I knew is over
The lights are out
Hello, darkness
I'm ready to succumb

Don’t worry, in classic hero’s journey fashion, this darkness is only the impetus for the main character to find her resolve, steel her nerves, and take on the problem with renewed vigor. The lyrics reflect this hope and transitive mindset, and in the movie, we get to watch Anna physically climb out of the dark cave into the light and stand on a cliff while she surveys the unknown path stretching out before her.

But break it down to this next breath
This next step
This next choice is one that I can make
So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And with the dawn, what comes then
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again?
Then I'll make the choice
To hear that voice
And do the next right thing

I don’t think my sister is dead, I am not stuck in a cave, I didn’t watch my snowman friend flurry away. But I do feel a sense of loss, I am worried about the unknown aspect of the future, I do wonder what things will change and who will get hurt along the way. I do not think all hope is lost. I am not ready to succumb. I do think that my current ethos is to hold onto the hope, forge ahead, build more community, and just do the next right thing.

I read this article about Shawn Mendes this week (late to the party, I know). Was it because the headline news articles were ones I wanted to quickly scroll past? Was it because the images (and dream-like video clip montage) accompanying this article are mostly a pensive and shirtless Shawn Mendes with a guitar? WHO. KNOWS. Full disclosure, I don’t know Shawn or his music, but I did like his perspective on getting through the darkness, albeit his was a very different and very personal kind.

He clung to an adage: If you’re driving in the dark, all you need to see is 10 feet ahead of you to eventually find your destination. “I never could get stuck if all I had to think about was like, OK, it’s morning. My next 10 feet is to, you know, meditate and get a coffee. My next 10 feet after that is to work out; my next 10 feet is to call my mom.’” 1

If you feel like you are driving in the dark a bit here, join me in trying my best to focus on the next 10 feet and make sure we aren’t careening into anybody or anything as we go. Keep our heads up and do the next right thing.

FROM THE STAX

HOT DOG by Doug Salati

When things are getting a bit too hot, a bit too crowded, when life is just TOO MUCH, sometimes the best remedy is to hit the brakes and head out of town.

With wonderfully alliterative and sparse narrative, the story is captured through illustrations, which show with very tangible imagery how overstimulating the city can be and how refreshing it is to pause, change course, and find space to run free, be creative, and relax. A book about hitting the reset button when life gets a bit overwhelming that also features maybe the cutest dog and dog mom of all time.

I discovered that Doug Salati has an absolutely beautiful website that I hope to explore all day — a bit of a reset button in the landscape of the internet noise. Grateful that art like this exists in the world.

THE SQUISH by Breanna Carzoo

A sandcastle is born! …and then is squished. But don’t worry! The sandcastle dusts itself off, rebuilds itself even bigger and better, and is ready for whatever comes next! …oh, except more squishes. A book about getting knocked down over and over again and finding what is needed to get through it. Hint: a bit of resolve, a dash of pluck, and realizing that you aren’t alone.

Is everything with giant eyes an instant hit no matter what? How many beanieboos have I agreed to because they are just so damned cute?!? Requested on repeat while at our house, I blame those adorably huge eyes. Who could resist? The book can read a bit overly didactic for the reader, but the kids love the humorous ways the castle kept getting knocked down, the obvious message, and the cuteness of the castle itself. Plus, the takeaway message is extra relevant for all.

AARON SLATER, ILLUSTATROR by Andrea Beaty Illustrated by David Roberts

Aaron loves stories, and cannot wait to write some of his own. Only, when everyone else starts reading he finds he cannot make sense of the words on the page. He grows increasingly frustrated and is about ready to give up when he realizes that stories aren’t bound to the page.

Y’all this one makes me weepy every. Single. Time. Specially printed in Dislexie, a dyslexia-friendly font, this book will pull on all your heartstrings and leave you cheering. It also provides a good starting point and offers resources for expanding understanding about different learning styles and dyslexia. There is never just one way on a single road to accomplishing your dreams or arriving at the destination, and I love that this book shows that struggle is part of success. It also gives permission to think outside the box and come up with a new solution.

Sidenote: If you are a specialist in this field or are working with kids with dyslexia, I’d love to connect!

BEYOND THE POND by Joseph Kuefler

Ernest, who lives in a plain little house in a plain little town, decides to explore his pond. What he discovers, with a bit of imagination, helps to unlock the secrets of his pond and, in turn, the rest of the world’s potential.

When things seem particularly gray or blah, it can help to get outside and explore. Tapping into nature, closely observing the world around us, and letting our imaginations run wild helps to turn on the lights in our brain so we can look at the “ordinary world” around us with a whole lot more potential. I love a book that invites my family to unlock the magic.

GREEN LIZARDS vs RED RECTANGLES by Steve Antony

The green lizards and the red rectangles have always been at war. Even if one or two have tried to broker peace in the past, it always fails. One day, one little guy gets hurt too badly while the chaos reigns supreme. Will this injury be enough to stop the feud?

Cooperation and peaceful existence FTW! With bold two-tone images (red and green, duh) this battle book encourages creative problem-solving, leaving the reader to wonder what sort of good and great world could be built if we all started to work together instead of starting yet another battle.

LIT TIP

Reading Kid Lit can be therapy for the whole family. When something is going on that is causing emotional unrest or instability you can find books on theme (or maybe even off theme but with adjacent windows to crawl through to get to said theme) to help you and your family cope with whatever comes your way. I find the emotional state of my household can often be buoyed up by a well-chosen kids’ book! And if a topic is looming but not yet breached, because let’s face it, parenting is an awkward guessing game 98% of the time, a book can be a great way to ease open the door and invite a soft entry into a difficult or confusing conversation. And then as that conversation continues to surface, the book can be used as a common reference point to help regain your footing.

For our little family, the very next right thing was a quick retreat into nature, where we could let our phones lose service and battery as we dug our hands into the dirt and dipped our feet into the river (yes, it was still warm enough for that). Connecting with nature is my reset button that helps me gain perspective, take a deep breath, and refocus on the positive. Who knows what the future will bring? I am reaching out my hand, let’s move through this vast unknown together.