Let Them Look
Encouraging your young children to experience books on their own
You know the moment, you are in the kitchen putting together a snack when you hear a crash and thump, followed by a cry. Or at a playdate, there is a tense moment of conflict over a coveted toy. An exploration into the slippery mud on the bank of the pond. A climb, higher than ever before, on a playground structure. Often as a parent, it feels like an impossible task to NOT swoop in and offer guidance, support, direction, a solution, a punishment, or a bandaid. Helping your child through sticky or dangerous situations is necessary and healthy, but so is giving pause and letting your child (or children, or your child and their friend) figure things out on their own. Children are not only curious little scientists, they are social experimenters. Pausing can give your child a chance to practice the skills you have been instilling, encouraging, and modeling for them since day one.
I find this practice of pause especially difficult around 3:30PM, the great SLUMP hour. This is when I am at my absolute worst, and it is often when my kids are stretched thin and prone to push boundaries. When I find myself interjecting and interrupting my kids’ play, I need to put on my headphones and get busy with my own project, reminding myself that stepping back helps them hone their social skills for the real world.
Caveat: I keep my volume low and always step in if someone is getting hurt or being intentionally mean. I am nearby and available for a hug and a brainstorming session if there are tears.
I like to apply the pause philosophy to how my children interact with books. When I see my child reach for a book, I don’t immediately offer to read it to them. If they ask me to read, I finish whatever task I am involved in first, and give them a moment to sit with the book on their own. Or last week, when my two-year-old was revving up for a tantrum cycle because I couldn’t conjure any grapes out of thin air (she had eaten the last one) I simply went into her room, pulled a couple of shiny books with flaps off the shelf, and put them on her couch without saying anything more about grapes. She decided that she was going to “read some books” and I gave her space to do so.
Letting your child look at books on their own is a great way to encourage independent reading. When my oldest started reading, he would only do it when nobody was around (imagine me, peeping around the corner of the doorway). He would find a familiar book with pictures he knew, and puzzle out the letters on the page until it all came together. He still prefers to read to himself over reading for an audiance. Me too!
My daughter has been trying to control the reading situation since she was born, flipping to specific pages, and never waiting for me to finish the words on the page. Letting her have the book to herself means she can find her favorite scenes and spend as long as she likes studing the parts of the story she loves best. Now she will pick up books she knows by heart and “read” them to us, her fingers following the letters that she doesn’t yet know, but telling us the basic idea of what is happening in the picture as pulls her finger across the page.
Every kid is different, some might want to flip through quickly, some might focus on pictures, some might try to puzzle out the words, and some might pretend to read with the book as a prop. Any way that your kid interacts with literature is a positive in my book (pun so very intended).
LIT TIP
A few weeks ago I gave you a tip for containing the potential kid chaos of the library by expediting the browsing process. Here is another library tip to help keep your kids contained while you browse: blind grab a handful of titles for each child (these could be any book off any shelf) and find a cozy reading nook (preferably within your line of sight, so you haven’t set them loose on the other patrons) and pause. Let them look through the pages while you find titles that you think the whole family will love.
Sure, you will probably end up with a title or two from the original blind grab that are not your idea of great literature, but giving your children autonomy of choice is empowering and encourages excitement about the books you bring home.
THE REVIEWS
LITTLE SANTA by Jon Agee
I can’t help myself! I love Jon Agee! This book starts when Santa is a child, the youngest in a large family. Living in the North Pole is taxing and the family is ready to move to Florida when they get stuck under a big snowstorm. Little Santa goes out (up the chimney, how else?) to get help, and meets just about everyone he will need for his future along the way. With his humor, loveable picutures, and a fun new take on the Santa origin story, we absolutely love this book and hope you will too!
SANTA BABY by Jonathon Stutzman Illustrated by Heather Fox
Santa feels the aches and pains of aging and uses some Santa magic to make himself a bit younger, but maybe he uses a bit much and he ends up a baby. Now he has to figure out how to get back to his regular jolly self in time for Christmas. This silly book is fun for the whole family, and Santa as a baby is just too cute.
HANSEL & GRETEL by Bethan Woollvin
A twist on the classic, this book is about a friendly witch, Willow, and two little (familiar) kids who are more than a bit rude to her. The illustrations steal the show in this picture book, with bold lines, bold inks, and a simple color palette that is a delight to look at. Plus, I personally enjoy a retelling that celebrates a witch and flips the classic narrative on its head.
BALLERINA BEAR by Shana Corey Illustrated by Pamela Paparone
Bernice the bear loves to dance! But, she is not so graceful. She feels a bit discouraged, but one day another bear comes along who is technically perfect, but is a perfect bore to watch. Bernice sees her chance and asks Bertram to be her dance partner. The result receives a standing ovation. Arguably a book about playing to your strengths and celebrating who you are, this book is a lot of fun and appeals to the young ballet-inspired dancer in our house.
NUTS IN SPACE by Elys Dolan
Part Star Trek, part Star Wars, part picture book, part comic, all completely ridiculous. This has been a TOP GRAB in our house this week! Both kids love the busy pictures, the story, and the characters. It can be a tedious read if you aren’t prepared to point to who is speaking (word bubbles are heavily used) but it is so much fun that it is worth the time and effort you need to put into it. I first discovered this book as a nanny and have gifted it to friends, and it is often on the repeat checkout list. A true gem of a book. Some of the characters (the little angry bear planet inhabitants) do use language that could be considered strong (stupid & kill), and depending on my mood or audience I may choose to skip those words.
Some days I go to the library just so I can have an afternoon where both kids are immersed in flipping through the new books, discovering the pages, spreading them all about our living room, and leaving me alone! Minor miracle.
Do you have a sweet moment when you caught your kid “reading” on their own? Or a moment when you felt pulled to get involved but took a pause and were proud to watch your kid succeed on their own?
See y’all next week and happy reading!
Love this! And thanks for the follow! Looking forward to connecting further!
Santa Baby looks delightful!
I echo your sentiments of encouraging kids to go through books independently. It thrills my heart with great joy when my kid reads a book upside down 😆