Hold your Loved Ones Close

Processing big events in life

Last week my weekly kid lit Substack was very very late on getting to your inbox, published on Saturday instead of Wednesday. I don’t know that this matters to anyone out there except me because having a deadline helps me stay committed to this thing. But the reason it was so late was a small tragedy which occurred on our summer vacation. I won’t go into full details as it is not quite my story to tell, but I will let you know that it involved an ambulance (everyone is OK, thank our lucky stars) and was an event that we will all be processing for a while. It was one of those things that reminds you to hold your little ones close and also highlights how life is a simple series of moments, split seconds of time, each second diverging into a new possibility of how events could go. What happens exactly how it does can only happen exactly when it does…and the universe is huge and life, despite our best efforts, is ultimately beyond our control.

In the immediate aftermath, the kids going out to play was thwarted on their end a little by the processing, talking through what had happened, trying to figure out how they felt, how we felt, what is the right thing to say? Is there a right thing to say? As adults we felt the same, less likely to jump into play, unsure of what should or shouldn’t be said or done. Knowing we were all trying our best to take care of one another and everyone’s needs.

When my kid was 2, they were climbing down off the kitchen chair after dinner, routine stuff. They fell and hit the ground at just the perfect angle to fracture the bone in their elbow. We want to wrap our kids in bubble wrap so nothing bad ever happens to them, and watching the kids climb on the dome structure or get to the top of the playground slide, you sort of realize life is a series of taking risks and we are always one precious slip of a minute away from a potential broken elbow. Life is just so large, and I want my kids to be able to live it to the fullest, including taking risks that mean they get to experience more. Even if it is terrifying. Also, sometimes the thing that jumps up to bite you is a regular everyday boring old chair.

How do you process? Internally? Out loud? What helps your kids process? With friends? Alone? Watching the kids and family process this event and figuring out how to navigate it within our family has been eye opening as a parent. 

May you all be safe and surrounded by love this week. Give your kid or loved one an extra hug today and let them know they matter. 

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FROM THE STAX

Oddly, several of our WA library books were about processing events, given fairly different types of events, but processing all the same.

GRANDPA AND THE KINGFISHER by Anna Wilson illustrated by Sarah Massini

A young child and their grandfather enjoy paddles on the river, watching the natural world around them change and evolve as the seasons go by. They follow the life of a Kingfisher family, from finding a mate, to nesting, to learning how to fly. There are subtle changes happening to Grandpa through the seasons as well until Grandpa is no longer there in the boat.

Observing the natural world is a great way to process and learn about the inevitable cycle of life. This book beautifully intertwines the loss of a loved one with an understanding that all life is bound by change, growth, experience and endings. Did this book bring us all to tears? In a good way, yes.

BEAR’S NEW FRIEND by Karma Wilson illustrated by Jane Chapman

Meeting new friends can sometimes be a little overwhelming! Especially if you are a tiny owl and your new friends are excited to see you. A classic character (there are so many Bear books) and a relatable feeling, this sing song rhyme book about making new friends is a sweet and simple story.

THE INVISIBLE LEASH by Patrice Karst illustrated by Joanne Lee-Vriethoff

When Zack loses his four legged best friend he doesn’t feel like doing much of anything. His best friend Emily explains to him about the invisible leash, a way to stay connected to those pets we love once they go to the big beyond. Sharing the understanding that losing someone or something doesn’t mean they are truly gone when you hold them in your memory or your mind.

Another book to make the reader cry, especially those who have had pets they have had to say goodbye to, this is a great book to read to help process the loss of a four legged (or finned or scaled or furry) friend.

DRAGONS EAT NOODLES ON TUESDAY by Jon Stahl illustrated by Tadgh Bentley

Two little monsters are trying to make a perfect story, and things get pretty silly. Full of jokes and good fun, and with nothing to process except good jokes, this book was a favorite with the kids. This was one of those books that I barely paid attention to as I read, but the kids thought it was very silly and wanted to read it again and again.

ONE MORNING IN MAINE by Robert McCloskey

Sal wakes up one morning to get ready for her boat ride with her dad to town but when she is brushing her teeth she notices one is lose!! On her way to meet her dad at the beach clam digging she runs into animals on the island and wonders about their teeth. But when her tooth falls out without her realizing it Sal worries she has lost her wish she was supposed to get on her tooth.

McClosky is one of those authors I want to collect every title of so I can own them all on our bookshelf. I love his simple and honest storylines, his attention to the little things, his interaction with nature, and his beautiful illustrations. This one hit close to home as I process my big kids getting bigger and hitting big milestones, and also because we have had a summer full of ocean and ocean adjacent activities including observing seals and digging for clams!

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That’s all for this week! Hope you are having a beautiful time and don’t forget to tell your little people you love them. And let me know what your favorite kids books about processing hard or big or scary things are!

See y’all next week and happy reading!