My 4-year-old, and thus my 2-year-old by proxy, and I talk about “good laws” and “bad laws.” This topic has come about in a myriad of ways and takes many forms, but the impetus for this sometimes difficult and ongoing conversation is a book we picked up at a neighborhood Little Free Library (love ‘em) titled Freedom on the Menu: The Greensboro Sit-ins by Carole Boston Weatherford. (UM, sidenote: I just googled her right now and am so lifted up and inspired and I will be going down this rabbit hole ASAP!)
Freedom on the Menu is a fictional book that tells the story of the Greensboro sit-ins from the perspective of a young Black girl, Connie. By making the narrator a young girl, Weatherford presents a complicated historical event through the lens of a child, which allows huge concepts to flow easily into essential lessons. In our household, it has prompted conversations about racism, standing up against injustice, and the idea of “good laws” and “bad laws”.
When other big (Texas-sized) issues, like a woman’s right to body autonomy, or a transgender child’s right to gender-affirming healthcare, come up in conversation and my children are listening and start asking questions, I often find myself referencing this book. I will use it as a tool to bring my kids into the framework of thinking about laws and how they affect people: “Do you remember that book about the little girl who couldn’t sit at the counter just because of the color of her skin?…” This is a book that keeps on opening its pages to us, even after it is back on the shelf.
When we get into the car and I ask my 4-year-old to buckle up, he will remind me that this is a “good law because it helps keep me safe, like if we got into a big crash. But there are bad laws too, like how sometimes people don’t want to have a baby but strangers say they have to keep it anyway.” … Am I winning? In those moments of translation, it can be hard to say. But I hope so. I hope with such intensity, for all of humanity, that I am winning.
Let me rephrase an important concept from earlier:
…the impetus for this sometimes difficult and ongoing conversation is a book…
Books matter. Period. They are conversation starters. They matter for understanding greater ideas, and different lifestyles. They help us prepare for difficult transitions, or provide solace during impossible times. They are windows into worlds we would never be able to see, times we cannot return to, or futures that may become possible.
We can try to neutralize the Scholastic situation by believing that the company is stuck in an impossible bind - do they risk losing their long-standing successful program of getting books into the hands of children, or do they grovel to the situation, to the “bad laws,” and ensure that they at least get some books to some kids? We can attempt to throw blame at politicians, at parents, at the new laws cropping up all over the United States (here is a great resource created by PEN for keeping track of these laws if you’d like), at one another, at the national climate at large. It doesn’t really matter.
The real burn isn’t the books (though that doesn’t seem too far away) it is that, unfairly, it is innocent children who suffer at the hands of political ugliness. It is their world we are making smaller, their windows and doors to broader understanding that we are closing, their conversations and questions we are cutting short. And they are powerless to do anything about it. Meanwhile, we are yelling too loudly at one another to pay them any mind.
I remember being a child at the bus stop, pretending the steam of our breath was cigarettes and making up chants about Ross Perot, so wonderfully ignorant of both the harm of carcinogenic nicotine and political agendas. We didn’t really know who Ross Perot was, or what platform he was running on; we didn’t know how to hold a cigarette, or what they tasted like. We were just kids, overhearing our parents and the news, playing adults while waiting for a bus on the corner of Main Street and Sunrise Drive (idyllic, no?).
Listen, I understand not wanting to expose your children to things you do not believe in or agree with, it can be uncomfortable, and it can be difficult. And you know what? You don’t have to. If there is a book at the library or on a reading list that you would rather your child not read, don’t check it out. Don’t buy it for them. Don’t start that conversation. The beautiful thing about a catalog, about life, about humanity, is it is all a choice.
If you don’t want to read a hilarious and heartwarming book about a cat who makes house cleaning a catastrophe, just because the cat happens to live in a house with two dads, then you can choose to put that book back on the shelf. (Your loss, IMO). If I don’t want to read my kids a story about a cute little mouse who learns a big lesson about God, then I can put the book back on the shelf. Or, OR, I can read it anyway, and my kids can ask me big questions, and I can answer those questions to the best of my ability. I can open that door.
Here are some books that I hope open up windows and worlds for our children, and start some difficult and continuing conversations in our households. Happy reading!
FREEDOM ON THE MENU: THE GREENSBORO SIT-INS by Carole Boston Weatherford
Connie is a young girl living in Greensboro, NC in 1960. She loves to go downtown shopping with her mom and one day wants a banana split she notices being eaten by the people sitting at the counter, but she can’t sit there because she is black. Her mother says she will make her a banana split at home, and Connie begrudgingly says it won’t be the same. Without shying away from the topic at hand, we get to experience the Greensboro sit-ins through Connie’s eyes. We see the news, watch as her older brother and sister get involved, and even get a glimpse of Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. Targeted for a slightly older audience, but still enjoyed by my younger child, this book is a conversation starter. I can’t wait to explore more of Carole Weatherford’s cannon.
BATHE THE CAT by Alice B. McGinty
A family has to hurry up and clean before Grandma visits, but when the cat overhears that a bath is on the “to-do” list, the funny feline takes matters into its own paws. We read this book maybe one thousand times when we had it from the library and my kids couldn’t stop giggling at it. It is simply so fun, funny, and cute. Using a more subtle tactic to take a stand on controversial issues, it is only this book’s illustrations that showcase a diverse family with two dads. I love how that makes this political issue a non-issue, though apparently, it is still quite controversial!
BORN READY: THE TRUE STORY OF A BOY NAMED PENELOPE by Jodie Patterson
Penelope is a ninja, is part of a big family, and knows what he likes! But Penelope is mad because nobody knows that he is a boy. Penelope has to use his ninja skills and his real-life skills to help his family and community see him for who he knows he is. In this true story, Jodie Patterson does an amazing job of tackling big transgender concepts in ways that are accessible to young children. Penelope is authentic, loveable, and brave. This book teaches that love and perseverance can win.
WE ARE WATER PROTECTORS by Carole Lindstrom
The black snake is coming to poison the water, but the narrator and her people are water protectors and they will stand united to protect their land and water. The snake is a metaphor for the Dakota Access Pipeline and this poetic book, reads like a song. With resources in the back for adults and children alike, this story helps children recognize that the land has limited resources, how we live upon it affects the health of the water and the people, and that people united have the power to make a difference.
KAPAEMAHU by Joe Wilson, Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu, Dean Hamer
Legend says that four when Mahu healers arrived on Oahu, they helped a small village by sharing their wisdom and healing powers before transferring their powers to stone and disappearing. My kids LOVED reading this book. It is a legend, retold with a mystical voice, and a bit of magic. There is an overarching theme of gender fluidity as the Mahu are dual-gendered and were traditionally recognized and revered in Hawai’ian culture. This book can help children realize (and remind ourselves) that our way is only one way to look at the world and do things, and also asks that we do not forget the ways and wisdom of the past. Plus, there is such a great video (scroll to the bottom of the site) of this book you should totally check out with your kids.
EVERYONE LOVES LUNCHTIME BUT ZIA by Jenny Liao
Lunch is everybody’s favorite part of the school day, but Zia is embarrassed by her lunches because they do not look like everybody else’s. When she tells her parents that she just wants to eat what the other kids do, her parents make her a full week of special Cantonese lunches, each with their own secret power. Zia and her classmates learn that food can have meaning, can bring people together, and is a lot of fun to share. Not only will this book encourage kids to think about how different cultures eat different kinds of foods, but it might also get them excited to try new things to eat. If you have ever tried to convince a preschooler to eat something they haven’t seen before, you know how big a win this is. Plus it includes a recipe at the end, inviting us all to try something new.
That is all for this week! Happy reading!
Let me know what books have kickstarted difficult conversations in your house. Are there any books that get your kids asking big scary questions, ones that don’t really have a simple answer? What books on your shelves keep opening up, even after the back covers are closed?