Embrace the Chaos
Resetting your expectations to embrace the reality
MERRY CHRISTMAS! (If that is your thing.) Chances are you are surrounded by piles of torn wrapping and odd relatives with your children hopped up on sugar and residual Santa joy. Have they run off with their favorite new toy yet? Has anybody (child or adult) burst into tears yet? How are you doing?
A friend of mine texted yesterday, and she (like many of us) is valiantly trying to get her three-year-old and ten-month-old to sleep in an unfamiliar and crowded environment. We laughed about the tragedy of a sleepless night and joked about giving up, and then I attempted a pep talk: “You can do it! Reset button, go do something fun, and embrace the chaos!”
When I was a traveling nanny, the family and I arrived in New York, and I put the twins to sleep. Later their mother asked “How did it go?” and I responded, “They did so great considering they are sleeping in a converted closet in a place they’ve never seen before.” The job included a lot of travel with young twins so you can imagine we had plenty of chaos we learned to embrace and even laugh through.
Of course, it is easier to dish out advice and encouragement than it is to practice it. Two nights ago my family dressed in Christmas pajamas and headed on an evening tour of the neighborhood lights - a fun idea! A new tradition! My two-year-old was quickly overtired and squirming everywhere, lightly peeing in her pants, while refusing to try to potty. (A new exhausting phase of the potty training journey.) Less than ideal. We trudged on despite the pee problems but when we got home, after a disastrous bedtime, I recapped with my partner expressing my frustration that things that start so fun often go off the rails.
After a bit of reflection, I realize it isn’t the outcome of the event itself or my children’s behavior that is causing my disappointment, it is my rigidity around my idealized expectation. I am my own worst enemy when I try so desperately to hang on to routine or my expectations and forget to just be in the moment, accept it for what it is and embrace the inevitable (and beautiful) chaos.
I hope your holidays (and 2024) are full of chaos that you gracefully and cleverly accept and rejoice in!
FROM THE STAX
Speaking of chaos - sometimes I end up taking book pictures in my car at the book drop at the library because…life.
LLAMA DESTROYS THE WORLD by Jonathan Stutzman Illustrated by Heather Fox
Is there anything more chaotic than the creation of a black hole and the destruction of all life as we know it? Loveable Llama eats a big pile of cake on Monday, rips his pants on Tuesday, and then slowly destroys the world - only instead of doom and death it is funny and absurd. The colorful cartoon pictures will put a smile on your face and the story will have the whole family laughing.
HOTEL BRUCE by Ryan T. Higgins
Bruce and his Geese return from their annual trip to Florida only to find their house has been turned into a quaint hotel by a couple of familiar mice. Bruce gets more and more agitated by the mayhem until he finally kicks everyone out. If you haven’t read any Bruce books, go get one quick! He is a funny and rather grumpy character who unwittingly becomes a mother to very stubborn geese. Ultimately the stories are about love, even when the person you love can get on your nerves. Relatable.
UNSTOPPABLE by Adam Rex Illustrated by Laura Park
When being chased by a cat, Bird meets Crab. Bird wishes he could pinch his enemies, Crab wishes he could fly, so they team up to become Unstoppable! This seems to suit them just fine until they see Turtle swimming by… The author uses hilarious combinations of all the animals to create new words that are silly to say and sure to delight. When the crew comes across a problem they cannot solve, they call upon an unexpected helper. A story about teaming up individual assets to enact change, but keeping it lighthearted.
TAKE ME TO YOUR BBQ by Kathy Duval & Adam McCauley
Willy’s farm is invaded by aliens and they demand tasty BBQ and 2-stepping. To get out of a tricky situation, Willy pulls a slick one hijacks the spaceship and finds a new gig in space. With lyrical verse that dances on the page invoking the dusty dance halls of Texas, this book pulled on my little Texas transplant heartstrings. Willy shows us how to make the most of being dealt an unexpected hand.
ONE TINY BUBBLE by Karen Krossing Illustrated by Dawn Lo
The Story of Our Last Universal Common Ancestor. Perhaps a great antidote to feeling overwhelmed by the mundane struggles of the day-to-day is to ponder the chaos of the creation of life on earth. How absolutely wild to imagine Earth at its creation and all life connected with this common ancestor. Karen Krossing does us all a favor by distilling huge scientific concepts into kid-friendly reading that will fill the whole family with awe and wonder.
Back before I had my own children who replaced my alarm clock, I had a mantra I used whenever I picked up an overnight nanny gig: “They WILL wake me up early, and I WILL be happy to see them.” I knew I would be on the struggle bus at 6:15 when the kids inevitably came to wake me, so I adjusted my expectations and set myself up for success.
Does anyone have a mantra for embracing the unexpected day-to-day chaos that is life? Would love to add one to my toolkit for 2024.
See y’all in the new year (wow!!) and happy reading!
Merry Christmas, lovey!