Becoming a Mother

and 5 titles that have me feeling the love

May 13, 2024

My firstborn asked if he could tell me a secret before he climbed into bed. He got so close to my ear and whispered in the forced quiet of a child learning to whisper, “Happy Mother’s Day!” and then smiled his one dimple smile down at me, so proud of the gift he was giving. I whispered back to him: “Thanks for making me a mother. Before you, I was only me, and after you, I got to be a Mama.”

Brandi Carlile has a song The Mother which always makes me feel weepy because the lyrics so perfectly encapsulate the joys and struggles of becoming something and someone new. This sentiment sticks with me today:

And they've still got their morning paper and their coffee and their time
And they still enjoy their evenings with the skeptics and the wine
Oh, but all the wonders I have seen, I will see a second time
From inside of the ages through your eyes

One of my favorite parts of being a mother is the heart-bursting joy that comes with watching my little ones experience the world all over again, and the transformative act of rediscovering alongside them. The never-ending whys that keep me questioning what I know, how I know it, and whether I should still believe it. The slow pace of discovering the world one overturned rock at a time. The way that every single fuzzy caterpillar they see (and trust me, there are thousands) is greeted with tireless enthusiasm and joy.

My good friend had her first child last week, exactly five years and one day after my first was born and she celebrated her first Mother’s Day over the weekend, just staring at those tiny baby toes trying to figure out the how of the impossible and inevitable task now before her. I remember my first Mother’s Day, my firstborn was only five days old and we were both so raw and new to this world, both of us uncertain, uncomfortable, a little bit shocked, and in awe. Motherhood continues on that same path. It is this most amazing gift but it is also full of uncertainty, overwhelm, missteps, forgiveness, and awe. Motherhood, like so many things in life, contains multitudes.

Happy Mother’s Day every day, to all the different ways.

Last week I did my first-ever author interview and promotion, reviewing Teddy’s Bear Takes a Tumble by

Jane Smith

, and encouraged everyone to interact with my post to get entered for a chance to win a digital copy of Jane’s book. Congrats to

Gayla Gray

who liked my post and whose name was (literally) drawn out of the hat. I hope you like sharing Teddy’s story with the littles in your life.

Thank you for reading Library Stax. Share this publication with a friend and help support this little newsletter corner of the world.

OVER AND UNDER THE CANYON by Kate Messner Illustrated by Christopher Silas Neal

A mother and son set off on a hike into the canyon and explore all the beauty and wildlife found from the rim of the canyon to the depths of its floor.

This book perfectly pairs two of my top things to do with my kids: reading books and exploring nature. Part of the Over & Under series (check them ALL out!) these books are great tools to use for your baby budding scientists to start noticing and understanding even more of the world around them. I particularly love that this book features a mother out hiking with her son.

JUST LIKE MAMA by Alice Faye Duncan Illustrated by Charnelle Pinkney Barlow

Carol Olivia misses her mama and papa while she lives with Mama Rose. Carol sees all the ways that Mama Rose helps her, loves her, challenges her, and takes care of her, in ways both big and small. Carol Olivia realizes that she loves Mama Rose just like a mama.

There are so many different ways to become a mother or to step into a mothering role in a child’s life. Not every mother is born of blood and this book depicts the tender love between a temporary caregiver and a child who is placed under their care. Big shout out to all the foster kids and caregivers, stepmoms and stepkids, adopted children and adoptive parents, grandparents stepping in for assistance when needed, and all the non-blood-related mamas out there!

INSHA'ALLAH, NO, MAYBE SO by Rhonda & Nadia Roumani Illustrated by Olivia Aserr

When Rayna asks if she can go to the park her mother answers insha’Allah, a common Arabic phrase that means “God willing.” Rayna hears this phrase a lot and is pretty sure that it means “nope” but wants to get to the bottom of it once and for all.

I have never felt so seen in my motherhood than when I am reading this book — the mother is both playful and exasperated by the antics of her persistent, clever, and curious daughter who really really wants to do the things she wants to do and is not satisfied by the non-commital answer. I relate to the struggle of having to say “maybe” to a lot of requests, though as an agnostic household we personally do not relate to the God-willing aspect of the book. It did make me wonder if that would be an easier way out of the endless cycle of having to say no? My guess is it is just as difficult either way you cut it.

The illustrations so wonderfully capture the mom as she goes about the things that must be accomplished throughout the house and during the day, all the way attending to the needs and questions of her child with the patience that I wish I always had. I love this book!

This book was gifted to me by Holiday House Publishing. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

A GARDEN IN MY HANDS by Meera Sriram Illustrated by Sandhya Prabhat

To get ready for tomorrow’s wedding, one little girl sits so patiently still while her mother applies henna to her hands and shares stories of their family, her own childhood, and the traditions that create family.

The power of story is the greatest gift of all — especially our own stories of where we come from and who we are. This book is a double gift in that it introduces the art and significance of henna tattoos while encouraging the reader to share stories and heritage with their children so we can celebrate the love of those all around us who have made us who we are.

A PINCH OF LOVE by Barry Timms and Tisha Lee

A boy and his grandmother are baking and spending time together and notice the community center in their neighborhood needs repair. They have an idea that gets the entire community involved in a bake sale fundraiser.

I love a book that tells one story with its words and another in its pictures, it feels like two stories for the price of one and has the reader key in to the words and the pictures to get an even bigger story. The simple verse focuses on baking, ingredients, togetherness, and love while the pictures tell the story of how those actions help to save the community center and bring people together. The best lesson here is that all it takes is a pinch of love to build a lot of community and make the world a better place.

I almost titled this post “Are You My Mother?” after the P.D. Eastman classic where a little bird thinks his mother is missing and goes out to find her, of course walking right past her on his way. He asks every manner of things he meets out in the large world if they are is mother (my favorite is the SNORT) only to eventually end up back in his nest with his mother who is, after all that, so undeniably his mother that it is comical. How relieved the baby is to have finally found who he was looking for all along.

There are days in my own Motherhood where I feel a little lost and confused, where I still feel raw and unsure about what I am doing. How is it that I have become a mother? Am I doing it right? Who said I was allowed to do this thing? And then my littlest grabs my face in both her tiny sticky adorable hands and says “You are my precious Mama” and I know that I am, in fact, in the right nest after all. I have made it home.

Here is hoping that wherever you are in your journey of motherhood, whether it is feeling more raw or more in awe, whether you feel lost or found, you at least have a pinch of love to make it all the sweeter.

See you next week and happy reading y’all!