Auntie's Annex: April Shelves
Where I get YA EMO and FEEL ALL THE FEELS and my sister and I make a Spotify playlist all about it.
My husband is a high school English and Journalism teacher. He is creating a multimedia essay project and always models assignments for the students by working on one himself. His essay project is about songwriting (I think) and the other day he asked which songs are the kind where someone will say a phrase and the song immediately comes to mind. The lyrics that make you burst into song. The lyrics that stick.
Fast forward to later that evening, we are sitting on the couch having a listening party similar to the kind you would have in high school — lights out, speakers turned up, emotions laid raw for the sake of sweeping melodies. He was racking his brain trying to remember a song from the early 2000s to add to the playlist and when it came up in rotation I burst into tears for reasons I cannot even explain except that I had forgotten the song even existed, it was tucked away in the recesses of my mind, a dusty corner and when it got pulled out nostalgia hit me like a wave, pummeling me, carrying me out of my surroundings so I completely lost my bearings. It felt good. It felt weird. It hit like only music can, prying open latent emotions and strumming against my heartstrings. Which song was it? I’ll drop that at the end of this newsletter. Just a little carrot on a string to keep you around.
Oh to be thirteen or twenty-something and have music that wrecks your soul. Music that understands you better than anyone else can, MOM. Music that accompanies you on long drives through the aimless nights, windows down, hearts open, screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs.
When I brought this question to my sister (as I do all things in life) she and I started swapping music and lyrics via text and it took all of five minutes before she had created a Spotify playlist for us to dump all our most nostalgic and sing-along ready music into. The only rule about said playlist is there are no rules — when my husband had asked which songs are always popping into my head to sing out loud I said “Highway to the Danger Zone” from Top Gun. So, if you ever doubt if a song should be on this playlist just remember: “Danger Zone.”
For those of you who came expecting books, I hope you enjoy this sidestep into music. Go put on some headphones and see if you burst into unexpected tears. Have a song that gets you every time? Share it with me!
MY APRIL TOP PICK
ALL MY RAGE by Sabaa Tahir
Salahudin and Noor live in Juniper, CA, and used to be best friends until The Big Fight and now they aren’t talking really, but when tragedy strikes and Salahudin’s mother, Misbah, dies the two of them struggle through their life and their grief. Will they be able to repatch their necessary friendship? Will they be able to save Misbah’s beloved motel? Will they be able to graduate HS and get out of Juniper for good?
This book is a raw and emotional YA book that pulls on heartstrings just as beautifully as the best-crafted song. A story about friendship, betrayal, love, brokenness, hope, and forgiveness. All of those things. This one broke me wide open. If there is one book I recommend reading this month, this is it. Your heart will break in all the right ways. I went above and beyond when I finished this one and texted my YA bookish friends urging them to pick it up. You should too.
FROM THE STAX
YELLOWFACE by R.F. Kuang
June Hayward is a Yale-educated author whose trajectory isn’t going to plan. When she witnesses the death of fellow Yalie, celebrated author, and (maybe) friend Athena Lui in a freak accident June takes a novel (pun intended) approach to mourning the loss of her so-called friend. Watch June unravel caught in her own web of deceit and basic horrible humanness.
Still unpacking this one. I was warned that the protagonist is not someone you like, and that is one hundred percent true. But you aren’t supposed to like her, which makes the novel incredible and difficult at the same time. I don’t love a book where the protagonist is supposed to be likable but I personally find them grating—I do appreciate a novel that uses an unlikeable protagonist to make a greater point, which this book does so incredibly. It is also very meta, being a book about the publishing industry and being a writer. It is vicious and smart and I understand why it is making lists time and time again. This novel is absolutely intentionally haunting.
Side note: Googled R.F. Kuang and she was born in 1996 so I am suddenly feeling old and incredibly impressed by this young powerhouse of a woman.
THE AMERICAN ROOMMATE EXPERIENCE by Elana Armas
Rosie is a (barely) ex-engineer turned full-time romance writer trying to write her second novel when her ceiling caves in. Disheveled, she heads to her BFF’s empty apartment only to have someone (a robber?) trying to break in. But it isn’t a robber, it’s her BFF’s super hot cousin, who also happens to be Rosie’s secretly harbored internet stalk-worthy crush.
Elana Armas is called the queen of the slow burn for a reason. The first half of this book was a quiet creep toward the payoff. I spent more time rolling my eyes and thinking “Get to it already” than enjoying the playful back-and-forth banter. It is interesting to note that while I loved the misunderstandings driving the tension in With Love from Cold World, the misunderstandings in this book felt less cutesy and more annoying. But let me tell you, when she gets to it….she fucking gets to it and the payoff is so good. Did the hot and steamy scenes make me ache with desire? (not gonna tell you….wouldn’t be prudent). Did I weep at the 11th-hour heartbreak? And again at the resolution? YES. Yes I did.
RED QUEEN (#1) and GLASS SWORD (#2) by Victoria Aveyard
In a land divided by blood type (Silvers are gods, Reds are servants) Mare Barrow is counting down the days until conscription sends her off to fight in the endless war that no Red willingly wants to fight. She is picking pockets outside the tavern, the only way she can help her family, when she meets a mysterious and handsome stranger to whom she accidentally tells all her truths, frustrations, and fears. The next day she is called to the Silver’s castle because that stranger is actually the Prince! In disguise! Then, absolute chaos ensues.
I’ll never forget old whats-her-name. Let us be real, I finished reading these books yesterday and I had already forgotten the protagonist’s name. It is easy to tear through this YA dystopian future, full of angst, missteps, and oh yes, here comes the uprising! Led once again by a teenage girl who seems to never quite understand what is going on, the books twist and turn and every step along the way is filled with betrayal.
I wonder why the teen girl protagonists read like fully-fledged women when the boys who are young YA protagonists (I think HP) read like boys. Is this culture? Is this my own take? She definitely flounders around and makes a bunch of rookie mistakes, much like HP does. Also, why are all the men in love with her? I have yet to see any heart-throb winning traits…the first time she said LOVE about one of her potential suitors I may have guffawed. Everyone betrays everyone and she is very fond of saying that things that happened literally two days ago were “so long ago.” And why is it that Mare NEVER SEES THE TRAP COMING? Has she learned nothing?
I’m plugging along and am now on book 3 so more to come on this series next month.
THE BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY (#8) by Louise Penny
A secluded monastery of monks who have taken a vow of silence must break their vow now that one of them has been found dead, bludgeoned in the head. Gamache and Beauvoir are there to investigate and since nobody from the outside can go in and nobody who is in can come out of the monastery, someone a-monk-st (go with me on that one) them must be the killer.
This is the only book in this series that hasn’t captured my attention. There is nobody from the village of Three Pines, a community I have come to love, and I miss them. Even if it means the tiny town gets a reprieve from being the site of so many murders. The intro had a gem when Penny was giving the reader a brief history of the Gregorian chants and said something to the effect of that when two men of power have different ideas and they both think they are right, what then occurs is war. TRUE THAT. Also, it broke my heart when (in the 12th hour) Jean-Guy (who my sister and I lovingly emoji as PANTS MAN (type it in, worth it)) falls the fuck apart. I love him, I hate him, this was the best part of the storyline, and who cares what monk died or why when there is CORRUPTION in the FORCE?
THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY (#1), IT’S NOT SUMMER WITHOUT YOU (#2), and WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE SUMMER (#3) by Jenny Han
Belly and her brother have always spent their summers with Beck’s boys in their summer house on the beach. Belly is always trying to get in with the gang of boys until one summer when everything seems to change for good.
This coming-of-age YA series is going to tug on all those heartstrings the way only unrequited love can. I think I read these three books in about three days, no joke. Belly is lovable and relatable, so very young and self-centered and insecure. When she hits that magical age and starts turning heads it is truly wrenching to watch as the whole gang struggles with the messy triangle of love. Also a story about grief, but handled in a very different way from All The Rage, though both books champion the “boy who knew you your whole life” as the one true love.
Also, if you haven’t watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before on Netflix, go do it!
CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F**K UP by Alexandra Potter
Nell has just moved back to London after a devastating break from her fiance and the loss of their business. Staring her childhood bedroom in the face she has a bit of a breakdown, wondering if she is the only grown woman who feels like such a failure. She finally scores a job writing obituaries, finds a flat to rent with a roommate who is rarely there, tries to reconnect with her friends, and finds life and herself in all kinds of unexpected places.
An odd read for me as I didn’t find myself racing to pick it up or finish it, but now that I am done I keep thinking about all the things I liked about it. This book had some sticking power, and it also resonates as I am not still a love-sick teen despite what my music and book selection may suggest but am, in fact, a forty-something human trying to convince myself that I am not floundering about and squandering this thing called life. Some inspirational nuggets to be found here!
ON THE NIGHTSTAND
in hand: North Woods by Daniel Mason
on kindle: Kings Cage by Victoria Aveyard (
audiobook: Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty
ON DECK
in hand: TBD
on kindle: Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano is still on hold and I am 4th in line. ETA: 8 weeks. Ugh.
audiobook: How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny
ADULTING
Y’all made it! Congrats on being here, at the end of my newsletter. This month was my husband’s birthday and we dropped the kids at Grams’ house and went out two-stepping to our best friend’s Tejano band. It is always a treat to see live music and even more so if your friends are up there on the stage.
Curious about the song that broke me open? Literal tears streaming down my face? Have a listen:
I need to pick up The Red Queen finally, I’ve had a copy for years!
Always enjoy a good playlist so thank you for sharing! Glad you and your husband also got away to listen to some live music in April. I'm currently listening to Finlay Donovan Rolls the Dice so hopefully your hold for that series comes in soon!