And the Winner Is...

Watch as our nation holds its collective breath and then read these kids books about kindness while you wait!

My daughter likes to play the part in Frozen when Elsa is crowned queen on her coronation day. She hands me a pillow with her tiara and gloves on it. We find something roughly ball-shaped and something roughly stick-shaped, and then we solemnly pass the items to one another on said pillow until I announce her to the audience of nobody “Queen Elsa, of Arrendale.” She insists I put the crown on her head. She hastily throws down her scepter and….ball-like thing (what is that thing) and rushes to put on her gloves. She takes her role very seriously.

actual photo of my daughter…JK JK

As we enter election day here in America I am here to say I hope you all voted. I hope you took your role seriously. Our polling station was out of stickers because so many people had been going to early vote. I don’t know if that is a good sign or not in a volatile and divided nation.

My sister asked how I was feeling and I didn’t know how to answer. I feel conflicted. I know the media (both news and social) wants me to be in frenzied panic about this moment. I could get myself there, I am sure. We are all capable of working up a frenzy.

Instead, I texted her this:

I’m feeling like I’m going to choose to believe in the goodness of the people in my community and keep plodding along towards positive change regardless of the results. And also very nervous and vomity and glad I am not on social media and don’t have a TV and am living under this little rock. Maybe naive, but I’ve voted. I know good people around me and I’ve encouraged friends to vote. I believe in the little us of right here?

Do I believe this? Or am I just saying this to make myself (and maybe her) feel a little better? Unsure. I hope it works. I hope you believe in the little you and the community of goodness you have built around yourself.

Regardless of what happens, I think empathy is key to existence, and that reading good books helps us to have empathy for those around us. I want to raise my tiny humans to be people who are kind, thoughtful, and hopeful. Who builds community by listening to the people around them and then bringing people together instead of tearing people apart. Here’s to hoping for a different path in the future.

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FROM THE STAX

I WALK WITH VANESSA by Kerascoët

A new girl starts school and hasn’t quite found her place. After school, a bully comes along and treats the girl poorly, making her cry. A single girl nearby witnesses the event and goes to tell her friends about it. They all go home feeling sad for the new girl in class. The next day on her way to school, the girl goes and knocks on the new girls door and invites her to walk to school with her and her friends.

A wordless book with a message louder than any I have read in recent time. Beautiful and inspired illustrations by Marie Pommepuy and Sébastien Cosset who work under the pen name Kerascoët, this book opens the door for all kinds of conversations in your house about noticing the actions of those around you, of tuning into the feelings of others and reactions you have towards certain behaviors. And about how you can make a change, make someone feel better, and be a force to send a message about what behavior should be uplifted in your community.

BE KIND by Pat Zietlow Miller Illustrated by Jen Hill

Tenisha spills grape juice on herself and feels embarrassed. A classmate notices and tries to find a way to help her friend feel better. This mission spreads into a greater wondering about what kindness can look like, how it can be offered, and what effect it can have on the world at large.

I love that this has both the message of something tiny and seemingly insignificant, and then blows out into a huge message that shows that these tiny acts can domino effect into creating a better world. I also love that the bigger and more extravagant acts of kindness don’t actually help solve the problem, which teaches us that sometimes the best thing you can do to make a person feel better is to be present and available.

THANK YOU, OMU by Oge Mora

Omu is cooking a thick hearty stew, and the smells are wafting out her window. It can’t be helped, people drift to her door and each new arrival is gifted a generous spoonful of the stew. Then, when Omu finally sits down to enjoy some herself, she finds she has given it all away. Of course, the community she has fed comes back to her door with a feast of their own to say thank you to Omu.

Whatever your gift is, give it freely, and build community around giving. Then watch as the community comes back to feed you. The message is simple and obvious, but in a world that feels increasingly isolated, it is a message that feels hard to find. When I read this book it felt a little old school, reminiscent of a different time, when neighbors would smell a good soup and come knocking at the door. I think it is possible to still build this kind of community, it just might take a lot of intentional work (kind of like making a stew, eh?) but if you do the work, the community will come and fill you back up.

THE YELLOW BUS by Loren Long

A yellow bus starts its life transporting children to and from school, a job that fills the bus with joy. Then the bus is used to shuffle the elderly from their nursing home to different locations in the city, and again, the people who occupy the bus fill the bus with joy. The bus continues to offer up its vessel to many surprising occupants throughout the years, and no matter the circumstances, the bus is filled with joy.

I first read about this book in this delightful NYT piece about the tiny world Loren Long created in his house while writing this book. While also not strictly about being kind, there is such a powerful message in understanding that we are who we are, even if our jobs change, the things that occupy us change, and our surroundings change, we can choose joy. We have a purpose. We exist and that existence brings fulfillment to those around us.

WE FOUND A HAT by Jon Klassen

Two turtles find one hat. Two Turtles. One hat. The situation is primed for conflict. Will decency prevail, or will this hat be the end of a long-standing turtle friendship?

Maybe not an obvious book about kindness, but sometimes the best stories are the ones that teach you a lesson subtly, with a pinch of humor. The turtles decide it wouldn’t be fair for only one of them to have a hat, and so they (mostly) leave it behind, valuing their friendship more than the object they desire. They curl up to sleep and enter a magnificent dream, one where two turtles are flying through space, delighted, each of them donning a very handsome hat.

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Y’all. I was conflicted about posting this at all — is it too on trend? Am I saying too little? Am I saying too much? But here is the thing I want to say bottom line: I believe in the goodness of humanity. I believe we are capable of creating beautiful things. I believe my kids can be kind, generous, empathetic, and loving.

I believe we can choose kindness. Choose community over conflict. Choose joy.

And anyway, we can’t do worse than Queen Elsa of Arrendale who kinda set off an eternal winter, right? (Or maybe we can…but roll with me here) And you know what the key was to unfreezing the kingdom? Love. And SISTERS. (duh).