These past few weeks have been all about big feelings. As you probably know (because I can’t stop bringing it up every single week) my firstborn child, the one who shifted me from an adult tethered to nothing but my own agenda, to a mother — tying our heartbeats together, each tiny breath a marvel, has started kindergarten. Cue the tiny violins.
My youngest and I don’t know exactly what to do with one another without our regular sibling playmate buffer. She is trying on a lot of different hats, and most of them include a lot of her yelling at me when she doesn’t get exactly what she wants. Or when I sing any song ever. Or when I give her exactly what wants. Confusing times.
When I want to explode rage, I like to walk it off. Taking time alone, exerting energy, and distancing myself from the situation helps me reset. When I can’t get away (because hi, I can’t just Kevin my kids) I tend to strap the kids into the car and take a drive with some good music and no real destination. What is your favorite way to cool down when you feel like you are about to burst?
Recently, my family got an advanced copy of Jazmyne’s Big Emotions from award-winning author and advocate Tom Tracy. Tom answered some questions about his book and about being a children’s book author and I am excited to introduce him to you today. If you want a chance to WIN(!!!) a signed copy of this book, comment below to be entered into our drawing. A winner will be announced next month.
Tom Tracy is a children's book author, the founder of Scoochie & Skiddles Inclusive Kids Book Collection, and a licensed clinical social worker. He is on a mission to create more visibility around LGBTQIA+ families and foster families in kid lit, inspired by his two-dad, two-adoptive-daughter family and his work with kids in foster care. Round of applause from us to you, Tom!
No matter what emotions are swarming around you today, I am glad you are here. Thank you, as always for your support.
FOR THE WIN
(get it? You can win this book)
JAZMYNE’S BIG EMOTIONS by Tom Tracy
Jazmyne is a kid in foster care (yay for representation, did you know there are over 400k kids in foster care in the US? I didn’t!) who, just like all humans and children everywhere, struggles with her big emotions. Jazmyne sometimes feels like she just wants to pop, but she is here to share with you some tools in her toolkit that help her self-regulate and make good choices when her big emotions tempt her to make less-than-great ones.
One thing we really liked about this book was how Jazzy (what her friends call her, and yes, we readers are her friends) immediately breaks the third wall, speaking directly to us. This approach invited my kids into the conversation and encouraged interaction. In no time and without my prompting, my kids were eager to share their experiences of having big overwhelming feelings and come up with emotional toolkit solutions. My son said he liked to take some time alone. My daughter said she liked to “hit things…” (it’s a work in progress). They love practicing the breathing exercises alongside Jazzy. Used as a teaching tool and conversation starter, this book is an excellent book for any reader’s shelf. What it lacks in story it makes up for in useful tools and interactive fun. Jazmyne’s direct approach helped us realize that uncomfortable things like big emotions and making bad choices are OK to talk about.
The colorful and cute illustrations, with sweeping backgrounds that mirror the feelings you may be having inside help cement this book as a teaching tool and a conversation starter.
Comment below and enter to win your copy of Jazmyne’s Big Emotions. I hope it helps your young reader gain confidence in their ability to handle life when life feels overwhelming. Actually, I am going to hope writing this post helps to remind me to go take a few deep calming breaths next time my youngest is trying out the power of her lungs. I love a book that is a lesson for the whole family.
A CHAT WITH TOM TRACY
Tom graciously (and patiently, I took FOREVER to get my self in gear and he was so nice about it) answered questions over email about his book, his company Scoochie & Skiddles, and any other random questions that came to my mind. Thanks, Tom for all your hard work and thoughtful insight!
Library Stax: You are passionate about creating stories that feature kids who are underrepresented by traditional publishing houses - can you tell me more about why this is so important for you personally and for the publishing world at large?
Tom Tracy: Books are mirrors to our world. When a child cannot see themselves represented in the stories they are reading, it can be isolating and result in feeling “othered,” but when a child can see themselves in the characters, not only does the story become more relatable, but it affirms the child’s experience. Furthermore, when there is depth of diverse representation, it helps all children appreciate the differences that make our society stronger.
Historically, minorities have been disproportionately under-represented in children’s books. While there has been marked improvement in terms of diverse representation, we still have a long road ahead of us to bridge the representation gap. Authors and publishers bear the burden of this responsibility. The Cooperative Children’s Book Center (CCBC) of the University of Wisconsin, Madison publishes an annual report of representation in children’s books. In their report of reviewed books from 2023, for instance, only 7% featured an LGBTQ theme or character and only 4% featured a minority religion.
This is personally important to my family and me, as I am a gay dad with two adopted daughters, both of whom are different races than we are. As a mixed-race, LGBTQIA+ family, we want our daughters to not only see themselves and families like theirs in storybooks, but we want them to appreciate and respect families of all types and structures.
Library Stax: Jazmyne is in foster care which you introduce directly and simply before shifting the story to the universal topic of big emotions. Can you tell me about this approach?
Tom Tracy: There can be stigma associated with foster care and, as such, it can be treated as a taboo subject. Very few books that contain themes related to foster care, which can contribute to feelings of isolation. In the United States, there are, on average, about 400,000 kids in foster care on a daily basis. The experience for these kids is hard and traumatic and, most importantly, not their fault. I wanted to address this head-on and create a book that sent a message that they are seen and valued.
Using feelings and emotions was an important universal experience to connect all kids. Again, this was another way for kids experiencing foster care to not feel othered. Emotions are normal, regardless of your experience, and we can all find ways to effectively manage whatever feelings we may be having.
Library Stax: Ok, That is so beautiful. I had no idea so many kids were in foster care and I love how you are championing for them to feel seen and reflected in children’s literature. Books can offer so many things to so many people, what do you think is a book’s greatest superpower?
Tom Tracy: To evoke curiosity. Whether it is the world of imagination or a desire to learn more, a book is like the most decadent appetizer - it leaves you hungry for more.
Library Stax: Oh, I love that! As an author, you get to be like a cook creating little delicious bites for your readers. What is your favorite thing about being a kids book author?
Tom Tracy: I have two favorite things. First, I simply love it when parents and kids share with me how they have connected with my books. I’ve had so many tell me that my books have opened doors to richer conversations in their family or that particular scenes resonated with them. I live for these moments. The other favorite thing for me is seeing how my 7-year-old daughter has responded to me being a children’s author. She now has an insatiable appetite for books and reads chapter books independently - at seven!!! But what is most exciting is to see the books she, herself, is beginning to create. In fact, she has a leg up on me - I need to hire an illustrator for my books, but she has declared herself both the author and the illustrator! :)
Library Stax: Ugh! I love this so much. I love it when our own passions and work are reflected by our kids. I can’t wait to read one of her creations in the future. I get the feeling she is taking after her creative entrepreneurial dad, because isn’t Scoochie & Skiddles your personally created company? Can you tell me more about how it all got started?
Tom Tracy: It is. Scoochie & Skiddles are actually the nicknames of my daughter and her cousin. It was observing them in frenetic play one day that was the inspiration for my first book, “Scoochie & Skiddles in Fun at Gramma’s.” There are now three books that feature the characters Scoochie & Skiddles. The company name simply came from their character names.
Library Stax: Scoochie & Skiddles has several other inclusive and relatable titles and coloring books! Any others you want to mention in particular? Also, out of curiosity, who creates the art for your coloring books?
Tom Tracy: Thanks! I love “Scoochie’s Adoption Story” because it is our family’s experience in adopting our oldest daughter. What makes that story extra special is that I actually witnessed my daughter, at the age of five, explain her adoption to a friend on the playground. It was such a proud dad moment for me that I captured that experience in storybook form. Since its publication, “Scoochie’s Adoption Story” has won 8 distinct book awards!
I generally hire an illustrator for my books. One of my coloring books is based on “Fun at Gramma’s” and we simply took artwork from the book and put it into a companion coloring book. I do have three other coloring books. They all feature diverse kids. That artwork was from when I was trying my hand at AI-generated images (as I said, I’m not an illustrator). My time with AI was short-lived though, as I prefer hand-drawn images for my work going forward.
Library Stax: I love it when ideas for a story come from real-life interactions or observed instances with our kids! That sounds like such a special moment to have witnessed and I am glad it made it into a story, and obviously the rest of the world is too (8 awards!!) I am curious what your experience is with traditional publishing and why you have taken the path you have in creating your books.
Tom Tracy: I have not published via traditional publishing (although if anyone is willing to offer me a contract, I’ll gladly take a look … hint, hint). For now, self-publishing gives me complete creative freedom to tell my stories and have them illustrated in the way that I want. I also have a bit of an entrepreneurial spirit, so I kind of like the do-it-yourself world.
Library Stax: Ha! Good to know! Any agents out there looking for a new client? At Library Stax I love to get my hands on and share inclusive books that expand my family's understanding of the world and help spread a message of love and tolerance. Plus, we love recommendations (obviously). What are some of your favorite books that fit this bill?
Tom Tracy: Julian is a Mermaid. Any of Todd Parr’s family books. I love the Frog and Toad series as well as the Toot & Puddle series. While not necessarily love and tolerance, Extra Yarn is a family favorite, as there is just a wonderful message about giving that is brilliant. A long-time favorite by a gay author (although not a gay-themed book) is Strega Nona. That one is just pure fun. We love it and have read it over and over!
“I do think being very transparent and open with my kids helps to model that we all experience emotions and that sometimes we need to support each other to get through them.”
Library Stax: Strega Nona (really anything by Tomie dePaola) and Julian is Mermaid are favorites in our house as well! I can’t wait to check out Todd Parr. Let’s circle back to emotions to close this conversation out. Jazmyne helps kids learn how to regulate when they are having big emotions (thanks Jazzy!), but I know that parenting often finds me feeling very very very big emotions as well! What is your favorite trick for handling your big emotions?
Tom Tracy: Pausing is the most powerful tool in my toolkit. Just taking a moment to reground myself allows for clarity or the perspective check that is needed in the moment. Sometimes, I pause by taking a deep breath. Other times, I talk out loud as a way to signal to both my kids and myself that we’ll get through this. I may say something like, “Ok, this is not that big of a deal right now. Let’s try something different.” I do think being very transparent and open with my kids helps to model that we all experience emotions and that sometimes we need to support each other to get through them. Now, let me be real … I often fail, as all parents do. My epic failures are devastating to me and I beat myself up pretty hard (just ask my husband about that), but tomorrow always presents a new opportunity.
Tom! Wow. Thanks for answering all my email questions and sharing your wisdom as both a creator and a parent. And thanks so much for sharing a copy of Jazmyne’s Big Emotions with my little family. Your hard work and enthusiasm for telling stories help diversify children’s books. I look forward to reading more from your collection and will be looking forward to more titles from Scoochie & Skiddles in the future!!
For more from Tom Tracy check out his substack
or his long list of podcast appearances on his website bio. And don’t forget to preorder his book because we all know preorders are the magic sauce that makes more books happen.FROM THE STAX
Because this newsletter is already exceptionally long, I am going to keep this section short and sweet with a bullet list of some of my favorite books about big feelings! As always, if you use the links I may (eventually) get a small kickback to help support my little book-loving hobby.
Take a Breath by Sujean Rim **more ways that self regulation can help solve your problems!**
Out of a Jar by Deborah Marcero **when holding in your emotions causes more harm than good**
When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang **in an ideal world, we would all live on a farm near the sea where we could endlessly run when we were mad — but even without a farm or an ocean view, space can be beneficial for a reset**
Be Kind by Pat Zietlow Miller Illustrated by Jen Hill **How we respond to other people’s big emotions is just as important as how we respond to our own**
Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood Illustrated by Don Wood **Is this the OG book about how it feels to feel in the simplest of ways**
Sweep by Louise Greig Illustrated by Júlia Sardà **When a little bad mood grows and grows and effects everyone and everything around you**
Badger’s Bad Mood by Hiawyn Oram Illustrated by Susan Varley **The whole town gets together to help Badger out of his bad mood but sometimes the thing that gets you out of it is being allowed the space to be in it**
Zen Shorts by Jen J Muth **Stillwater is, as his name suggests, the best at teaching us all how to deal with emotions through pausing, reflection, and changing perspective.**
I’m Worried by Michael Ian Black and Illustrated by Debbie Ridpath Ohi **If you have ever wondered if THE Michael Ian Black should write children’s books, the answer is yes! This is for you anxious existential bb’s out there**
Anxious Charlie to the Rescue by Terry Milne **For those who like things to be just so, when life is anything but**
There are one million books about the one million different emotions we all experience. What are some of your favorites? Don’t forget, any comment or conversation below enters you in a chance to win!
Thanks, as always, for being here. You guys are simply the best. See you next week and happy reading Y’all.
Alexis, thank you so much for this opportunity to share and for your very kind words about "Jazmyne's Big Emotions." As always, thanks for being so genuine about your own parenthood journey - it helps affirm our collective experiences.
Jasmyne’s Big Emotions sounds great! I loved Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival in my classroom—need to get a copy for my own guys now. When all else fails a pom pom or popsicle bath (or a pom pom popsicle bath!) or a drive to the car wash are my last ditch efforts to recalibrate everybody.